Repair-It

Yeah, there's an accepted custom of tipping in this country. In England/London, there is not. I certainly prefer the simplicity of the UK solution, but that's not how it works here.

I read a quora post recently asking what to do if you're an atheist and the host at a dinner asks the guests to bow their heads in prayer. The top answer was something about "just do it, it's not gonna kill you to be courteous. And if you don't believe in God, then what are you worried about anyways?"

Sure, you don't legally have to tip. But the staff is going to think you're an asshole, and might just treat you accordingly next time they see you.

Lots of people don't care if everyone in the room thinks they're an asshole. If you care, you should probably tip. If you don't, then no amount of arguing about "the broken system" is going to make them like you. That's just how it is.

Fast_Ed wrote:Sure, you don't legally have to tip. But the staff is going to think you're an asshole, and might just treat you accordingly next time they see you.

It is interesting that your interpretation of 15% (or maybe less than 15%) is equivalent to no tip. Unless you really meant no tip at all but I don't think we are talking about tipping, or not. I think the conversation isn't as much about not tipping at all, but tipping more, or less, than 15%, depending on the service (and food, which is at least as important). If everyone gets their own split up bill, it doesn't really matter. When it is all combined and someone insists on 25% when the service was average at best, well, I'm not going to bite my tongue. And by the way, it's really between you and the wait staff - the idea that I need to tip above a certain amount to make sure people don't think I am an asshole is asinine.

Let's move on from this asshole thing.

So if we are supposed to tip big because it is a tough, minimum wage job, then that sounds like charity. Which is fine. BUT, if someone at the table did scowl at me for my 15% tip, to me that would be equivalent of someone asking how much I gave to my church last year and then scowling at my answer (or watching my contribution to the offering plate). That is between me and my church - it doesn't concern them and therefore is a ridiculous question, assuming it was asked judgmentally. Ironically, the asshole scenario has now reversed.

What comes out of my wallet is about the only real control I have over anything. I think we have a right to exercise that as a consumer. Maybe some people tired of feeling like they pay too much for stuff and are somehow taking it out on the wait staff. Maybe other people tip due to paranoia that the wait staff will remember you and somehow poison your food next time! There are probably a lot of plausible theories on what people think about all of that.

All that said, I think it is very rare that I tip less than 15% (on the subtotal). By rare, I mean I can't remember ever doing it. 15-20%, as Adam mentioned, is where I usually end up.

This concern is indirectly addressed by not eating out. Oh, and I don't tip on takeout or in fast food situations. There was no service to tip on.

Ah, I was referring to leaving a 0% tip or close to that. If you're at 15%, I doubt most servers would think you're an asshole. Sure they would prefer more, but I doubt you would be at all noteable to them.

Tipping greater than 20% is if I really liked the service. Also makes a difference if I plan to go there every week. I would usually tip more in this case because it can lead to tangeably better service next time. This actually helped us to get those nikolas discount cards back in the day.

The use case for good service on constant repeat business makes sense. For take out, I never tip (pizza, IPC, Chinese, etc) and I frequent those places to the point where they clearly remember me and it has not been an issue at all. I am much more likely to deal with the business owner in those cases which means they recognize me as a repeat customer and that outweighs a lack of take out tip.

The tipping procedure in Europe is always interesting to me (as an American). Obviously, we all know we're conditioned to tip a waiter. But in Europe, they're not conditioned to tip a waiter. Maybe if the bill is like 13.70, they'll leave 14, but that's typically it. They'll round up to make it even and that's all. However, I wonder in today's world when a restaurant in Europe gets an American customer if they expect a tip or assume they will get a tip or not. Sarah and I actually debated about tipping while we were in Greece. I was more of the mindset that since they didn't expect it that we didn't need to leave a tip but she was insistent that we leave something, so usually we left 1 or 2 Euro's on the table and that was about it. Although, it was also funny that on our way back to NY, we had a nightmarish adventure (long story short, it took us 36 hrs from when we left the hotel to the time we landed back in NY) and at one point we had to take about a 45min to 1 hr taxi ride which cost 60 Euros. So, because I had a 50 and a 20, I just gave the cab driver the whole 70 and he was like "hey, are you sure, that's 10 Euro" and I told him to keep it. But it was funny because I doubt a cab driver in the US would have done the same. They would have just taken the money and that would have been that.

Now, in terms of tipping for fast food and take-out, unless a waiter is involved for fast food, then I'm not going to tip (but when is a waiter involved in fast food really?). For take-out, if it's delivery, i'll usually give the driver about 10%. However, if I go pick it up (which 90% of the time, I'm going to do), then there is no tip because I'm acting as my own driver. However, part of me does feel a little weird going to a restaurant, picking up my food, and not leaving a tip. However, I'll then equate it back to the fast food scenario where I don't feel any obligation to tip someone at Wendy's, McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc. But then, this also goes into, if you go to a buffet, do you tip the waiter that just comes around to clear your plate(s) and bring you a beverage? And if so, how much, 15-20% or something more along the lines of 10%?

I'll also chime in that tipping a restaurant or bar that you frequent is probably wise as the bartenders or restaurant owners get to know you and service can get better and sometimes you get more food or once in awhile, you'll get a free drink (or discounted) or appetizer or something.

Additionally, in the scenario where Kevin described about someone chastising him for not tipping enough (which that's a slightly different conversation), the comparison to how much you donate to a charity doesn't quite hold. In the situation where you, me, and Ed all go out to dinner and we get separate checks and Ed and I give 20% and you give 10%, well, then it can reflect poorly on Ed and myself because we're associated with you. So maybe you don't go back with us to the same place, but if Ed and I do, perhaps the waiter lumps us in with you and our service or food is worse because of it. So, I can understand it from that perspective. However, I'm still more of a mindset that to each their own and if I'm that insulted about how much you're leaving, then I can give a little more on your bill so I don't have to be embarrassed and then just make sure that next time I'm going to this place, I probably don't go with you. Something like that.