My feeling is this is happening all over the country. When people realize that "I agree with those people about these things and THESE people about those things," maybe they also realize that trying to fit neatly into some label (perhaps blindly) is stupid. The binary system we seem to have (combined with social media) has created this problem I think. If there were at least three systems, it logically must be more than us vs them because it's more like us vs them vs them which is sort of a less comfortable position for people to take without thinking about it. I think you would be more likely to reconsider your position and also be less susceptible to groupthink and identities.Confession time.
The two weeks since the Parkland shooting have been an eye-opening experience for me. You see, I identified as a liberal. It was a core part of my identity. I knew who my tribe was. I followed their pages. I liked their posts, sometimes without much thought. My "friends" and "following" lists were well over 95% liberal, and I was cool with that, because deep down, I had bought into the idea that conservatives were mostly a bunch of crazies anyway. I may have said a lot of nice theoretical things about how I respected the idea of conservatism and all that, but for real? I didn't demonstrate respect for conservatives any more than any other highly polarized liberal. I was still using the term "Trump supporter" as a slur.
Then Parkland happened, and as usual, it immediately became political. There was an outpouring of all of the typical liberal sentiments around gun control: calling for bans on semi-automatic weapons, total gun bans, bans on gun modifications, shaky statistics supposedly “proving” the effectiveness of oppressive gun control, and of course, all of the vitriol directed at "conservative gun-owners" who, by their description, are all a bunch of douchebags in MAGA hats with machine guns who don't pay attention to scientific research and don’t give a shit about dying schoolchildren. This is what my whole Facebook news feed looked like for several days.
The thing is, when you're living in a political bubble created by social media, it's easy to believe that you can be as insulting as you want and not check your facts because chances are, everyone who sees it is just going to agree with you anyway. The liberals in my feed conflated “gun owners” with “conservatives,” and perhaps didn't realize that I, the petite and kind of quiet blonde girl with the goofy profile picture who holds a ton of liberal views and loves to hug everyone, was also a gun owner and second amendment supporter. They weren't concerned with real people anyway; they were concerned with the mythical, hypothetical gun owner that existed only in their minds, holding deer heads as trophies and getting drunk and shooting off handguns. The liberals' platonic form of a gun owner is easy to hate, and it can pretty much be assumed that he doesn't care about facts or statistics or studies and just wants to keep his toys. So the second I would say "hey, maybe there's a perspective on this gun issue that you're missing?" I'd get berated, insulted, and assumed to be willfully and happily ignorant of the facts of the matter because if I'm not with them, then I must be another idiot holding a trophy deer head in one hand, beer in the other.
I decided to keep quiet for a few days until the heat died down. For days, I watched my "friends" talk about gun owners like they were another species, cold-hearted and indifferent to the gravity of gun violence, who cared more about keeping loud, fun toys around than preventing the deaths of children. Honest to God, I was heartbroken. I couldn't sleep. I felt physically ill. I couldn't explain to them why I thought they were wrong either, because they wouldn't listen to me; I was now the enemy, as if the whole of my personhood and my reason and my moral compass had been sucked into the platonic beer-drinking gun nut with the trophy deer head.
If I feel this horrible in response to having my views on one issue openly berated, how do conservatives feel when we openly berate them on literally every issue? I can't really blame them for tuning us out, making fun of us, and voting against every proposal we put forth. That's what any healthy human being would do to someone who speaks abusively toward them. If they didn’t do that and allowed themselves to be vulnerable to us, then they’d feel the way I do right now all the time.
Then, I put something together that gave my entire body chills and made me feel like sinking into the floor and disappearing forever: this is exactly how I've been talking about conservatives. I've happily joined in with this kind of vitriol in the past when it came to things I even vaguely agreed with. Generally, I didn't question my tribe; I'd often find my cursor hovering over the "repost" button before I'd even finished reading the smug meme or the article disparaging the other side, so long as the source was a liberal one. I cared a lot less about empathy and facts when I felt sure I'd be validated by my tribe. I didn’t do it on purpose. I just didn’t think about it.
That's about the time I realized that partisan politics is dangerous, dehumanizing, anti-intellectual, and immoral, especially in the age of social media when all of our biases tend to get echoed and amplified. I no longer call myself a liberal. I call myself nothing; I am not a label, because no one is a label. Liberals are human beings who want to come home to their families, have food on their tables, go to work in the morning, and live long and healthy lives. Conservatives are human beings who want to come home to their families, have food on their tables, go to work in the morning, and live long and healthy lives. Pretending that we're fundamentally different forces an ideological war where there doesn't have to be. It guarantees that we'll never find peace or come to compromise or create the incredible free country that we're capable of creating together. We'll certainly never learn from each other as long as we pretend that anyone who is in the "wrong" group, or who disagrees with us, is inhuman or stupid.
Despite how painful this experience was, I hope everyone has the chance to have it. The sooner we abandon our polarizing news sources and eliminate demand for them, start evaluating every politician and every issue on a case-by-case basis instead of leaning on impassioned groupthink, and stop demonizing and insulting the "other side" (whatever it is), the sooner we can pursue unity, peace, and productive discussion.
The first step toward that, in my opinion, is to either drop our "liberal" and "conservative" labels altogether, or to at least stop making them so central to our identities. It's amazing what can happen when you stop thinking of an impossibly large group as "the opponent" and start thinking of them primarily as people.
So that's what I'm doing first: getting political parties the hell away from my core identity and my relationships with other people. The best I can do is be the change I want to see, and hope to God that others join me.
I enjoyed reading this answer. Oh, the question was:
https://www.quora.com/What-have-you-don ... cal-debateWhat have you done personally to better understand those with opposing political views, or to increase civility and reduce rancor in American political debate?